Who am I? Nobody. A small spec of dust wandering along a twisted, wind-blown path upon a tiny, insignificant blue-green rocky collection, circling a minor yellow-glowing star, at the end of an insignificant spiral arm, connected to a medium-measured pizza-looking galaxy, in the middle of a vast, and vastly empty Newtonian universe, prayerfully attached to a more-entertaining and worthy multi-verse.
Anyone who sees themselves as more than that, cannot see past their own nose (which probably needs picking... hopefully, not in public). Anyone who proclaims that their definition of a Supreme Being has created all of that, just for their occasional evening view and speculation... is an idiot, and that requires no further explanation. And, anyone who boastfully proclaims that God made Man in His image... insults God, for doth not the Scriptures say that, “Pride comes before the Fall.”?
The existence of a “god” (or goddess) is not even attempted by any of the major philosophical religions on this pathetic, fungus-infested planet. To selfishly create a super-natural entity, with omniscience and omnipotence, and then profess that such source would create such a pathetic virus as Man, and raise such a rash to immortality... is just so much B.S. as to make any wiseman puke. Such an entity, physical or philosophical, would be so much more that we would never even be seen in His (or Her) microscope. If such an entity IS responsible for us, then they are neither omniscient (since we do so much that could be so easily stopped by someone with half that much knowledge), or omnipotent (they could so readily reprimand stupid people -- before having to wait for judgment day). If Perfection created us... we need to redefine perfection in Webster’s dictionary.
For those of you who have read so far, and instantly concluded that I will “go to hell, for my blasphemy”, you had better read further... to determine if you are going to be joining me. First, I have no fear of visiting the eternal hoosegow; since I do not recognize the value of such nonsense, I cannot very well be expected to have anticipation of such retribution. Secondly, if you truly do believe, but do not actually live up to such expectations, you will easily find yourself sliding into the very incarceration you condemn me. I hope you packed your Kevlar swim trunks.
My philosophy is very simple and is described by two analogies, first a roller coaster, and second a bowl of spaghetti. So, strap-down your safety belt, pull up your chair to the table, and hang on to your fork!
The physical existence of life is easily described as a roller coaster ride. Childhood is that long, steep climb to the top of the highest point on the track -- where all is excitement and anticipation of the coming experience, flavored with fear and hope, seeing the vastness of the world all around (if you keep eyes and your mind open). At the top is Puberty, and the rushing, traumatic drop into the teenage nightmare, where gravity and reality both lose contact with the track and you float in the midst of confusion and anticipation. Then, comes the slamming return to earth with the arrival of Adulthood, which is, very hopefully, attached to the vast and wide twisting banks and flips of living through family, friends, career, and goals -- achieved and failed. And, if you are fortunate, comes the final collection of soft and rolling bumps which are the final anticipation of the end of the ride.
Now, if you belong to certain philosophic, dead-end cul-de-sacs, you believe that you will only take this once, with no options. Then, when you unclasp the safety belt, the immortal clerk will point at you and say, “You did good, go that way (right side).” Or, “You failed, go that way (left side).” Then, you simply take the appropriate escalator -- to your appropriate and appointed destination. However, if you belong to other faithful creeds, you may believe in the opportunity to do this, again. And, if you haven’t tried too hard to live according to that creed, you had better this aspect is a chance to make up for all those mistakes.
As for philosophies, theologies, and creeds... all of these are like a bowl of spaghetti. Everybody above the age of ten knows how to make spaghetti (but, that doesn’t make all of them five-star chefs). The recipe for spaghetti isn’t complicated, and allows every cook to flavor the dish with all of the spices they prefer. Some prefer thick, rich sauce that can be scooped up with a fork. Others love a soppy sauce that requires a spoon and plenty of warm bread rolls. And, that means, no two dishes meet the tastes of all diners. Anyone who says that everybody has to eat their spaghetti by one recipe... is an idiot. PS: I will accept that your religion is “the religion”, as soon as you produce God, in court, to be your character witness.
Beyond all that, you can readily consider me... a freak... a weirdo... or, capricious... but, don’t arrogantly write me off... yet! I do believe in ghosts and UFOs. I love silly songs. I talk to the birds and animals in my neighborhood. I even talk to the electronic equipment I live and work with. But these facts don’t equal being disturbed or abnormal (rather I would say super-normal).
As the child of an undertaker, I lived in funeral homes, with lost and wayward ghosts long before either the school system or my church tried to convince me that ghosts don’t exist and Halloween is just a children’s playtime holiday. As I told my sixth grade teacher, “If you really believe that, spend the weekend at my house.” A challenge she, of course, accepted. My mother arranged the visit. That was in October, she hasn’t spoken to me since. All of my friends who spent a slumber party night immediately changed their definition of lives. As for UFOs, the argument is obvious and simple, “If I can’t see it, it don’t exist.” That is so much BS it is not necessary to waste time with. Or, “If ETs did exist, the government would tell us. They would never lie about something that important.” (What government do you know that wouldn’t lie to you?) Besides, those of us who have seen have a completely rational argument for our point of view.
In addition, my maternal grandfather was a Native American (Choctaw, for you colloquials), who never gave up his natural faith -- even though he attended the Baptist Church every Sunday, under my grandmother’s supervision. He taught me that everything living -- flora and fauna, has a living spirit; and, if that spirit is respected then such creatures are readily part of our lives (of course, he also taught me that honoring the spirits of bear and wolves wouldn’t stop me being breakfast -- if I didn’t use common sense around them). And, before computers and pocket electronics, he taught me that those things that Man makes (furniture, buildings, automobiles, refrigerators, televisions, etc) required not only technical skill and textbook learning; each required the builder to focus, concentrate, and “feel” the structure of the item being built. This spiritual energy is transferred to the construction, giving such things their own “life”. And, any boy who every built his own car from junkyard parts knows this… intimately. In the 21st Century, this may sound silly, but if you haven’t named your car, cussed at your computer, or threatened to throw your cellphone or MP3 into a drawer for causing problems... then, you are living in an isolated monastery (and quite possibly not reading this dictum).
The most important aspect of my questionable proclivities, is seeing ghosts. Because, you see, once you have seen -- and accepted -- a ghost, then you must (it is unavoidable) suddenly realize that one aspect of all bowls of spaghetti cannot be denied. There is at least one other realm of physical existence beyond what we “know”. These people, for whatever reason, do exist; but, not in the same realm that we do. I have come to recognize there are at least dimensions: Heaven (a good place), Hell (that bad place), Earth (the place we waste), Limbo (the place lost ghosts spend until they figure out they’re dead), and Alternate Dimensions (the place(s) where Fae, Djinns, Dragons, and Ozzy Osbourne wander).
And, all this is the most important realization in your life! Because, you know this fact (and it is a fact versus a truth), you know that one day, sooner or later, you will have to answer for all your faults! Gotcha! You simply do have the choice between the two escalators -- depending upon how you finish the rollercoaster ride. Personally, I keep a pocket full of silver dollars. I intend that upon finishing the ride, I will toss the attendant a coin, and climb into a different seat, and ride again from a different angle.
Now, try to not think about this... for the rest of your insignificant, simple viral life.
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