(continued)
CHIEF
No wondrous braves, peeling scalps from pale-pusses?
TUMBLEWEEDS
By yourselves. No help.
No advice. No weapons.
CHIEF
(aghast)
That's not fair!
COLONEL
(aghast)
It's completely un-American!
CAPTAIN
It really appears that my commander's
yellow hair extends all the way down
his back.
MEDICINE MAN
And the feathers of our mighty king were
plucked from a Central Park pigeon.
Lotsa Luck hands a note to Tumbleweeds.
LOTSA LUCK (V.O.)
Does this mean that the pow wow
is concluded? I have a quiche rising
in the Post kitchen.
BACK TO SCENE
Abruptly, a one rider gallops into the encampment. It is the Sheriff. He leaps to the ground, as the horse he's riding slumps to the ground.
SHERIFF
(out of breath)
Echo! The little girl's gone!
Tumbleweeds rushes forward.
TUMBLEWEEDS
What are you talking about?
SHERIFF
(catching breath)
The child's gone. We've looked
everywhere. Her aunt found her
missing from her bedroom,
before breakfast.
(beat)
Talked to Coltrane...
he told Sampton about her.
ACE
My god, the man'll kill her!
All the men begin organizing.
CAPTAIN
Corporal, take six men and join the wagon.
(beat)
Colonel, you're under arrest...
until we get this settled.
MEDICINE MAN
Brave One and Limpid Lizard,
you join them.
(to Tumbleweeds)
L.L. is not bright... but he can track a flea...
in the dark.
LIMPID LIZARD
I like fleas...they tickle.
Tumbleweeds runs, leaps into Epic's saddle. Then he pulls the horse up in front of the Sheriff.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(excitedly)
Did anyone ever find Pajamas?
SHERIFF
(beat; startled)
No! We were too busy looking for her.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(to Epic)
Find Pajamas!
Epic takes off, not quite like the wind. Ace assumes responsibility for the rest of the searchers.
ACE
(authoritative)
Corporal, take two men...
and this Injun...
(pointing at Limpid Lizard)
... start at town and go west to the river.
(beat)
The rest of you go south, toward the desert.
CAPTAIN
What about the other directions?
ACE
Pony Express riders have already
spread north.
(beat)
And ya'll have been blocking the
way east... from here.
EXT. OPEN PLAIN - DAY - TUMBLEWEEDS - EPIC
racing past the Poohawk Territorial Sign.
INT. HAMHOCKER HOUSE - FRONTROOM - DAY - HILDEGARDE - JUDGE FRUMP
They're seated together on the wooden sofa. Hildegarde is crying, and the Judge is frustrated -- trying poorly to console her.
JUDGE FRUMP
Miss Hamhocker, you've got to try to get
a hold on yourself.
(beat)
Your niece will need your strength
when she returns.
HILDEGARDE
(sobbing)
She's so fragile... and precious.
JUDGE FRUMP
We all have great respect for Echo...
and your fine efforts to raise her alone.
(beat)
And I promise this scoundrel will hang
by the neck... when we catch 'im.
Hildegarde reacts, then switches from sorrow to anger.
HILDEGARDE
(drying eyes)
Hang him?
Not on your cheap wooden gavel!
(beat; grabs Judge's lapels; angry)
You will drag him through town, by four horses...
then you nail his hide to the stable doors,
and sell shots at him, to all the drunks in town...
then the blacksmith shall brand his forehead
with the hot steel of the Pony Express.
Hildegarde lets go of the Judge, brushes his suit, then switches moods, again. This time she is her very demure and "ladylike" self, brushing the pleats of her dress as she speaks.
HILDEGARDE
(continuing; quiet)
Then... you will deliver his naked carcass
to my front door... where I will personally
scald his body with boiling chicken fat.
(beat)
Then he shall be sent into the wilderness...
in his nakedness... to face the rest of a modest
and civilized world, where simple folk allow the
laws of man and God to rule their lives.
Judge Frump visibly "shivers", then composes himself.
JUDGE FRUMP
Miss Hamhocker…
you are the soul of delicate womanhood.
EXT. OPEN PLAIN (WEST OF TOWN)- DAY - RESCUERS
The Corporal and Limpid Lizard lead their team in search of the missing girl. They all appear tired, dusty and worried.
EXT. OPEN PLAIN (SOUTHOF TOWN) - DAY - RESCUERS
The rest of the soldiers and Brave One search the scrub brush and dry ground for signs of travel. They are equally tired and dusty.
EXT. MAINSTREET (GRIMY GULCH) – LATE AFTERNOON
as Tumbleweeds enters town, riding Epic. A few local women are searching the outside of buildings, but the town is visibly empty of menfolk.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Come on, Epic.
You gotta find ol' Pajamas...
and soon.
Epic appears weary and walks unsteady, but he SNORTS an understanding and continues.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS - EPIC - SALOON - GENERAL STORE
Judge Frump and the Sheriff exit the Saloon, and watch as horse and rider pass them.
SHERIFF
What's up?
TUMBLEWEEDS
Epic is tracking Echo's dog.
(beat)
I figured that nobody could track the
little girl better'n her own critter.
SHERIFF
Great thinkin'. But ain't nobody seen that
lazy dog in two days.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Yep. But Epic and Pajamas play all the time
with Echo. Sose if anything can track that dog,
he can.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS - EPIC - GENERAL STORE
Epic visibly strengths up, and walks "prideful", after hearing the talk. Suddenly, he stops right in front of Hamhocker's General Store, and points his head under the stairs. And, right there, sound asleep is Pajamas, the wonder dog.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(shock; leaping to ground)
Has he been right there da whole time?
Epic only shrugs his shoulders in reply, and slumps to the ground -- exhausted. Tumbleweeds reaches, excitedly, under the steps.
JUDGE FRUMP(O.S.)
Careful! Remember, let sleepin' dogs lie.
Unconcerned, Tumbleweeds reaches in and shakes the sleeping animal.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Come on, fella.
Tumbleweeds picks Pajamas up, by the scruff of his neck, and pulls him out.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Wake up! Your mistress is missin',
and we need you to find her!
Pajamas stirs from his usual slothliness, wiggles in Tumbleweeds' hands. The man puts him down, and Pajamas crosses, rhythmically, to where Epic lays. The dog and the horse appear to talk (not audible).
Suddenly, both straighten up, sniff the air, and Pajamas is off on the trail of his mistress.
At a running start, Tumbleweeds leaps into Epic's saddle, and they follow -- as Pajama swaddles off down Mainstreet.
EXT. OPEN PLAIN - SUNSET TWILIGHT- LOTSA LUCK - CECIL
Cecil walks through the open plain, with Lotsa Luck standing on his back, his bow taut with an arrow ready to fly. Cecil begins to smell something and turns into a small ravine.
EXT. FOOTHILLS – NIGHT – TUMBLEWEEDS – EPIC – PAJAMAS - ACE
As Pajamas follows his trail up onto the ridge line. Tumbleweeds and Ace ride side-by-side just watching the dog.
ACE
Sure he knows where he's going?
TUMBLEWEEDS
Must be... he hasn't turned left or
right in two hours.
ACE
What’s ahead?
Tumbleweeds pauses.
TUMBLEWEEDS
The old miners’ shaft in Devil’s Canyon.
That must be where we’re headed.
EXT. MINERS'CABIN - NIGHT - TUMBLEWEEDS - ACE - EPIC - PAJAMAS
Tumbleweeds and Ace are "peeking" out from behind the bushes. Epic is slumped down -- sleeping. Tumbleweeds holds Pajamas -- who's squirming and wants to go on.
ANGLE - CABIN
both men can see a light ON inside. There are no shadows or sounds.
ACE
(loud whisper)
They gotta be in there.
I've never seen that dog so... awake!
TUMBLEWEEDS
But... how we gonna get up there...
without him telling the world?
ACE
I gottaah idea.
They move to where Epic is asleep. Ace takes Epic's bridle strap and makes one length of it into a leash for Pajamas.
When Tumbleweeds lets go of him, Pajamas tries to waddle toward the cabin. But he can't drag the downed horse.
ACE
(continuing)
That should hold him long enough
for us to finish this.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS - ACE
as they "sneak" up on the side wall of the cabin. But, before they can reach the wall, the sound of a dog's howl WAILS through the woods.
INT. CABIN - NIGHT - ECHO - SAMPTON
Little Echo is tied up and seated in one corner of the cabin, near the fireplace. Burt Sampton is laid out on the only bed in the room. They both react as the dog's HOWL is HEARD O.S.
ECHO
(shouting)
Pajamas!
She reacts as she realizes that this means city folks have come to rescue her, and that she's now warned Sampton -- who is now sitting up, gun drawn.
SAMPTON
I'm afraid so, child.
He jumps up, grabs the little girl, and tosses her over his shoulder.
SAMPTON
(continuing)
It's time to travel.
He blows out the lantern, moves to the back door of the cabin, and opens the door. Sampton pauses long enough to realize no one is watching the door, then "slips" into the darkness.
EXT. CABIN - NIGHT - TUMBLEWEEDS - ACE
leaning against the wall, as the lights go OFF inside.
ACE
Dang dog's blown it.
TUMBLEWEEDS
No time to discuss it.
(beat; shouting)
Sampton, we're here to take you in.
Don't make it worse.
Tumbleweeds pauses to wait for a reply.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(continuing)
Come on out, Sampton.
Making us charge in could get that little girl hurt.
Sure you don't want that.
There's only silence.
ACE
What'll we do?
TUMBLEWEEDS
Slip around back.
See if there's another way in.
Ace moves away. Tumbleweeds moves towards the front door. After a beat...
ACE (O.S.)
(shouting)
They're gone! Out the back!
Tumbleweeds kicks the front door open and dives through, ready to shoot, if necessary.
INT. CABIN- NIGHT (DARK) - TUMBLEWEEDS - ACE
as Tumbleweeds rolls into the room, only to find Ace leaning against the back door -- shuffling a deck of cards.
ACE
What now?
TUMBLEWEEDS
They just left.
We'll turn the dog loose and follow them...
all night if needed...
Tumbleweeds runs out the front door, Ace replaces the deck in his coat pocket and follows.
EXT. RIDGE LINE - SUNRISETWILIGHT - ECHO - SAMPTON
as he pushes through the trees with her still over his shoulders. They speak very casually as they travel.
SAMPTON
Sorry for the inconvenience, child.
ECHO
It's all right, sir.
I understand the pressures of adulthood.
My aunt says I should always remember that
being growed up ain't always being grown up.
SAMPTON
Your aunt is a very wise woman.
(beat)
Except for that obsession she has with that cowboy.
ECHO
True.
But everyone should have a goal
that gives their life meaning.
SAMPTON
Perhaps. I had one... however,
it appears to have lost its meaning.
ECHO
That is the way of life, sir.
Sampton pushes through some bushes into a small open meadow, as the light of morning brings the vista into view. He sets Echo down on the ground, quite politely.
ECHO
Thank you.
SAMPTON
I'm going to look for the best way around here.
I'll be right back.
ECHO
Under the circumstances...
I promise not to go anywhere.
My aunt says I should never wander
in the woods alone.
Sampton turns to cross the meadow... as an arrow, with a note stuck on it, lands at his feet. Sampton looks up, as he starts to draw his six-gun...
ANGLE - ECHO - SAMPTON - LOTSA LUCK - CECIL
Sampton freezes as he sees the little Indian standing on the back of his horse, holding a drawn bow on him. After a beat, Lotsa Luck allows the tip of his strung arrow to "point" at the note at Sampton's feet. Sampton pulls it off and reads:
INSERT - another note.
LOTSA LUCK (V.O.)
You unscrupulous pond scum...
Be so intelligent as to stand still,
or I shall be required to turn your
spleen and liver into hors d'oeuvres.
BACK TO SCENE
SAMPTON
That sounds particularly uncomfortable.
ANGLE - ECHO - SAMPTON
ECHO
Sir... it is not my place to advice adults
in matters of political animosity... but,
perhaps you should not make any
intimidative or fulminary actions. It is
quite probable that this diminutive
member of a savage and heathen
population has not mastered the
nuances and inflections of our spoken
language.
Sampton looks curiously over his shoulder at the little girl, without moving too fast.
SAMPTON
Anybody ever tell you... you talk real funny?
How did you learn all them big words?
ECHO
First, no one has ever remarked
negatively about my exceptional
elocutionary excellence. And,
understanding that you are the epitome
of the slimy criminal element in our rustic,
early American culture, I shall hold no
antipathy toward you.
(beat; breath)
Secondly, my Aunt's favorite bedtime
reading material was Mr. Webster's
dictionary. The second, and "one room
school" edition, of course.
Another arrow lands at Sampton's feet. While speaking to Echo he had not been watching the Indian O.S.
ANGLE - ECHO - SAMPTON - LOTSA LUCK
as Sampton begins to read the note.
INSERT - another note.
LOTSA LUCK (V.O.)
The child has offered you sound and
practical advice. You would be greatly
protected if, at this time, you would sit
down and place your upper limbs upon
that inelegant chapeau. Obviously, you
have not heard of Mr Stetson, and the
many wonders he is doing with beaver
pelts this year.
BACK TO SCENE
SAMPTON
You're as strange as the child.
Sampton pauses studying the tiny Indian. It is "obvious" that he is about to attempt his escape.
WIDE SHOT - SAMPTON
Sampton begins to dive to his left, and draw his six-gun at the same time.
Simultaneously, another shot is HEARDO.S., as an arrow passes through the trigger-guard of Sampton's gun -- jerking it out of the holster, and his hand.
Sampton looks toward the Indian O.S., then in the direction of the gunshot O.S.
ANGLE - ECHO - SAMPTON - LOTSA LUCK - TUMBLEWEEDS - ACE - PAJAMAS - EPIC - CECIL
Tumbleweeds stands ready, with his six-gun drawn. Pajamas rushes forward and begins "licking" Echo. Lotsa Luck has already restrung his bow. And Sampton is confused and dazed.
SAMPTON
(distracted)
What did you shoot at, anyway?
TUMBLEWEEDS
Your six-gun.
ACE
Considering the little redskin pulled
it away... you apparently missed,
my friend.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Not necessarily.
Ace crosses to Echo and unties the little girl, who grabs up her dog, and begins kissing Pajamas.
ANGLE - ECHO - ACE - PAJAMAS
ECHO
(giggling)
Thank you gentlemen...
for finding my dog!
ACE
We were looking for you.
Your aunt insisted on it.
ECHO
I am quite sure she would have been
very self-indulgent about it. But I was
quite safe. Mr Sampton is a bad man...
but he would never had been such a cad.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS - LOTSA LUCK - SAMPTON
Lotsa Luck is now only feet away from Sampton and Tumbleweeds, still on Cecil's back, bow still strung.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Well, Sampton...
want to tell the little girl the truth?
SAMPTON
What'da ya mean?
TUMBLEWEEDS
She really believes you weren't
going to hurt her. So...
what were you going to do?
SAMPTON
Hey! I'm not that kind of guy!
I was just going to trade her to
the Comancheros...
for passage over the border.
(beat)
I figured that way she'd never see
white folks, agin. So she could never
testify agin me.
ANGLE - ECHO - ACE - PAJAMAS
ECHO
That would have been most unpleasant.
But not without redeeming social value.
(beat)
I could have taught them culture
and language. And eventually,
returned home...to see this gentleman
swing from a tall oak tree.
ACE
We don't have oak trees in this ecological region.
ECHO
That is okay. I am sure that
Mr. Tumbleweeds will make the
appropriate accommodations.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS
TUMBLEWEEDS
(smiling)
You can count on it, sweetheart.
ANGLE - ACE
as he crosses over and picks up Sampton's six-gun, with Lotsa Luck's arrow still in the trigger well -- and Tumbleweeds' bullet "lodged" between the hammer and the plate.
EXT. MAINSTREET (GRIMY GULCH) - DAY - TOWNSPEOPLE
The barricades are missing. In the b.g., Tumbleweeds is riding Epic towards town. Beside him is Lotsa Luck on Cecil.
In front of them Burt Sampton is walking -- tied up and strung to Epic's saddle. Behind them is Ace and Echo riding his pony. Echo carries Pajamas -- who is now back to sleep.
ANGLE - GENERAL STORE
as Hildegarde Hamhocker runs out of the store, stopping on the wooden porch. AD LIB shouts and "hoorays" are HEARD O.S., as the Townspeople shout for the safe return of the little girl.
ANGLE - SALOON
as Judge Frump and the Sheriff exit, hearing the shouting.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS AND GROUP - HILDEGARDE - TOWNSPEOPLE
Lots of folks are standing around as the Group stop in front of the General Store, and Hildegarde runs forward and takes her niece, as Ace hands the child down. One of the local ladies takes Pajamas, as aunt and child hug.
Tumbleweeds and Ace dismount. Ace ties his pony to the rail, as Epic slumps into his own perpetual sleep.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS
slapping dust off his clothes, as he walks up the steps.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(to Lotsa Luck O.S.)
Come on in, and clean your throat.
A note floats into his hands.
INSERT - a note.
LOTSA LUCK (V.O.)
I would be honored to slum in your quaint,
backwoods spirits establishment. However,
as a member of an unrecognized and socially
maligned culture, I cannot consume firewater...
But I would just love a banana daiquiri...
shaken not stirred.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS - LOTSA LUCK - ACE - JUDGE FRUMP
TUMBLEWEEDS
Don't know wat di-queer-ree is...
and we ain't saw ah banana in years.
All we got is whiskey, beer and coffee.
Lotsa Luck hands Ace another note -- who reads it and responds.
ACE
Beer. Caffeine is agin his religion.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Beer it is.
JUDGE FRUMP
(confused)
What about that red-tailed swine?
I want a trial as soon as possible.
(beat; ordering)
Tomorrow morning at nine a.m.
ANGLE - SHERIFF - SAMPTON - DEPUTY - TOWNSPEOPLE
as the Sheriff hands the "rope leash" for Sampton to the Deputy, then pulls his six-gun out to convince Sampton not to try anything.
SHERIFF
Me an' the Deputy'll lock 'im up.
Then Teddy can pass the word
around about the trial.
ANGLE - JUDGE FRUMP
JUDGE FRUMP
Now that's all settle.
(beat)
The drinks are on me.
Several Townsmen shout AD LIBS of approval.
INT. HAMHOCKERHOUSE - DAY - ECHO - HILDEGARDE - LADIES
Tea and cookies have been served and enjoyed by all. Echo is in a clean dress, and Pajamas is asleep at her feet.
ECHO
(politely)
I am very sorry that my small misadventure
has caused any of you ladies such discomfort
and malaise as would interfere with your
seasonal baking and canning.
HILDEGARDE
I am just very glad that you remembered
your manners. Mr. Tumbleweeds said
that you were extremely polite. And, that
Mr. Sampton was exceptionally impressed
with both your manners and your behavior.
ECHO
You always taught me that no matter
what the situation, no matter how hard or
possibly injurious, is just cause for bad manners.
(beat; happily)
And wasn't Pajamas just wonderful?
I told you that he was a great guard dog!
And he was so fearless in front of that awful man.
HILDEGARDE
(curiously)
Beyond my comprehension,
I am very impressed with that flea farm's success.
Pajamas rolls over, in his asleep, onto his back, and wiggles like someone is scratching his tummy.
EXT. CLIFFABOVE POOHAWK VILLAGE- DAY
The Chief lays on the ground, his face looking over the edge of the cliff. The village is SEEN in the valley in the b.g. The Medicine Man stands nearby.
CHIEF
(casually)
My children! Blissfully at play.
Dependent upon my wisdom and great
courage to protect and care for them.
MEDICINE MAN
Yep. They are pretty stupid.
The Chief rolls over on his back, his headdress hanging over the cliff. His manner is casual.
CHIEF
A bit tense and curt this morning,
aren't we?
MEDICINE MAN
I'm just tired. You're delusionary.
(beat)
Four years of war and destruction,
and you're behaving like a naive vestal virgin.
(beat)
I am sorry...you are a naive vestal virgin.
CHIEF
I might as well being talking to that
midget moron, Lotsa Luck, trying to make
you understand that having won the war
with the ignorant Bluecoats, I have raised
the glory and honor of the Poohawks
beyond even the praise of those scruffy
and uncouth Seminoles and Cherokees.
The Chief rolls back over to look down the cliff.
CHIEF
Do you think they'll name an
all-terrain vehicle after us, now?
MEDICINE MAN
Don't expect so.
No one I know would drive a Poohawk...
or a feathered clown.
INT. COLONEL'S OFFICE (ARMY POST) - DAY - COLONEL- CAPTAIN
The Colonel is relaxed behind his desk. The Captain is standing at the window, looking out, and drinking coffee.
COLONEL
I have sent a complete written report
to Washington about this land-stealing
scam. Including all of the details proving
that those savages were actively
participating in this scheme to deprive the
fair citizens of this territory from their homes.
CAPTAIN
The Poohawks were not involved.
Any more than you, yourself, were involved.
COLONEL
I've ordered you never to speak of that
aspect of the case!
(beat)
Besides, we have to plan our continued
war on the heathens.
The Captain turns to face his commander.
CAPTAIN
I was under the impression that you
gave the townspeople of Grimy Gulch
your word not to continue hostilities
with the Poohawks?
COLONEL
I did. But when Washington reads
my report... I'll be ordered to eliminate
the redskin threat to our peaceful,
politically correct population.
CAPTAIN
You're impossible.
(beat)
But, fortunately, I anticipated you.
I wrote my father, the Senator,
with a clearer prospective of the
local situation.
COLONEL
(shocked)
You what? Behind my back?...
(beat; despondent)
Oh, well... and I did so much look
forward to watching that feathered
freak fry... inside his own teepee.
CAPTAIN
Glad to do my part, for you... sir.
The Captain rises his cup, as though toasting his superior, and smiles.
EXT. MAINSTREET (GRIMY GULCH) – DAY – PERCY
running down the street with a new edition.
PERCY
(shouting)
Read all about it!
Hildegarde Hamhocker gets her wedding day!
ANGLE - SALOON - ACE - PERCY
as the boy crashes into Ace.
ACE
What's all this shouting about?
PERCY
Miss Hamhocker gets to celebrate a wedding!
ACE
How could that be?
Did Tumbleweeds finally give in?
PERCY
No quite, sir.
Read all about it.
The boy gives Ace a paper, then runs down the street SHOUTING again.
EXT. OPEN PLAIN (NEARGRIMY GULCH) - DAY - TOWNSPEOPLE - POOHAWKS - CAPTAIN - CORPORAL
There is a party atmosphere. Tables are setup with food, drink and decorations. Lattices of flowers and ribbons are setup around the area. Everybody, townspeople and Indians, are dressed in their gayest outfits.
Lotsa Luck can be SEEN in an apron and chef's hat, supervising all the food preparations.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS - ACE - CHIEF
Tumbleweeds is visibly uncomfortable in his new suit. The Chief is wearing his very large and colorful ceremonial headdress.
CHIEF
We want to thank you folks for inviting
us. This is going to be a very special,
and different, festival... for all of us.
ACE
After years of confusion, it was only fitting that
the end be so celebrated by this brand-new union.
(beat)
The groom looks particularly...
nervously about the affair.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(puzzled)
Yeah.
The Medicine Man and Judge Frump enter and join the others.
JUDGE FRUMP
Well, we've come to a positive agreement
about handling these ceremonies.
MEDICINE MAN
It will be quite peculiar to
conduct this in both our traditions.
But we believe we've resolved the arguments.
JUDGE FRUMP
The Witch Doctor will preside over the wedding,
and I will witness the momentous occasion.
Thereby, the joyous couple shall be recognized
as bonded, in both lands.
TUMBLEWEEDS
Thank you both...
for your effort and your presence.
MEDICINE MAN
Believe me...
I wouldn't miss this for a Sharon Stone movie.
ANGLE - GUESTS – HILDEGARDE
as a fiddler PLAYS the "Wedding March", Hildegarde slowly marches down the isle. The CAMERA PULLS BACK and WIDENS to reveal Indians and townspeople watching her march. Echo, escorted by Pajamas, "sprinkles" flower petals along the isle, in front of her aunt.
The Captain and the Corporal lead an honor guard of soldiers, rifles held as an arch, standing at the back of the area. Hildegarde passes between them on her way down the isle.
Tumbleweeds stands up front, with Ace and Limpid Lizard nearby. The Medicine Man and Judge Frump stand in the front center, to officiate.
Hildegarde approaches the front, and smiles at Tumbleweeds -- who is visibly nervous. She steps to the far side.
After a beat, an accordion joins the fiddle, and they PLAY the "Wedding March" even louder. And everyone turns towards the music.
Then DELICATE FLOWER enters, and begins her march down the isle. Limpid Lizard steps forward to meet her at the front.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS
visibly relieved. BACK TO SCENE as Delicate Flower and Limpid Lizard turn to face the Medicine Man.
ANGLE - RECEPTION PARTY
the fiddle and the accordion are PLAYING a festive, dancing song. Everyone is having a wonderful time. Folks are dancing. Folks are eating. Indians and Townspeople are sharing a great time.
ANGLE - TUMBLEWEEDS - ACE - BRAVE ONE
standing around the beer barrel.
ACE
You came awfully close, friend.
BRAVE ONE
Yes. I understand that this is a
particularly difficult battle that you
have fought for several years.
TUMBLEWEEDS
I would rather have been a Poohawk facing
Only the Colonel and the Cavalry.
BRAVE ONE
What has been the secret of your success?
TUMBLEWEEDS
By being...
Suddenly, Tumbleweeds is "tackled" by Hildegarde -- in her wedding gown.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(continuing; wrestling)
faster than my misery!
He breaks loose from her hold, and leaps up. Waves to the others, and dashes away -- with Hildegarde in hot pursuit. The CAMERA PANS to watch the chase through the crowded party.
HILDEGARDE
Come on, lover!
We can make it twice as happy a day!
TUMBLEWEEDS
Hildegarde Hamhocker!!
I am not going to marry you!!
Now or Ever!!
ANGLE - ECHO - PAJAMAS - EPIC
as the troublesome couplerace by.
The little girl is playing with her dog. Epic is tied to a post nearby.
Echo reaches up and unties Epic -- who takes the cue to break away at a run.
EPIC
(to Pajamas)
Aunt Hildegarde is happily chasing her
goal, again. Grimy Gulch is finally
back to normal.
EXT. MAINSTREET (GRIMY GULCH) - DAY - TUMBLEWEEDS - HILDEGARDE - EPIC
As Tumbleweeds races down the street, with Hildegarde in close pursuit -- only inches away from grasping him. Epic puts on great speed, passes the woman, and "slides" up next to his master.
In a single movement Tumbleweeds leaps into the saddle, and the horse speeds away.
TUMBLEWEEDS
(screaming)
Aaaaaaah!
(beat)
Dang you!
You moved that saddle horn, agin!
FADE TO BLACK:
THE END
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